Entry 33: Handshake... End of a Chapter... Scavenger Hunt...

Thank You for that handshake...
u have no idea how much it meant for me...
even though u may have done it without much intentions...
or just to be nice...

it means alot to me really...
Thank You...

whether u meant it or not...

it helps me redeem a little piece of my soul...
i have done much wrong...
and i hope this is the first step on a path of redemption...

today is an end of a chapter...
talks of the future...
what it will brings...
what we can expect...

all the uncertainties...
talks of whether i would remain...
should i remain...
am i needed...

those are the questions i keep asking myself...

i feel i am no longer useful...
or was not useful from the start...
it is not about the people...
just feeling maybe everything is in better hands...

do i want to carry on...
should i carry on...
can i carry on...


most importantly...

do people want me to carry on...

reminiscence about the past...
about all the promises and hopes...
so distant...
yet they felt so good at that time...

we have achieve a little bit of things we hoped for...

Thank You for picking things up when i derailed...

was a little emotional when it was my turn to speak...
even though i have thought of what i said the night before...
even though as everyone take turns...
i was quietly rehearsing it in my mind...
a little sad and touched...

cause i know every word is true...
i have been lucky...

just a lucky person who stumbled upon a great opportunity...

did i deserve the place...

or was i simply lucky...

lately i cannot tell anymore...

feel a little redundant...
yet a part of me still want to go forth...

do the rest feel the same...

humans are strange creatures...
we can only think what we think...
but we endlessly try to think what others think...
we hypothesize...
we assumed...
we hoped...

is it all necessary?...

do what ur heart tells u to...
or...
do what u think others want u to?...

i am beginning to feel confused...

if someone would just tell me i have overstayed my welcome...

kind of feel like a 80 year old not knowing whether my family feels that i am a burden...

am i a burden to this family?...

then again...

no offense whatsoever to all elderly...
it was merely a reference in bad taste...

maybe a bit of feeling down has to do with sleeping little during the past 2 days...
its the weekends...
and after an exhausting week i have craved for respite...
but i did not get much rest...

only slept a few hours cause i was preparing things...

and Sorrie to have left u to do almost everything...
i wanted to go earlier to help...
but i realised i did not have the time...
i shouldn't have slept that few hours...

i need more perseverance...

i am posting these up cause i feel it is interesting...
for the first time i had my mms conferencing...
while we try to find the perfect gift...
it was quite interesting this scavenger hunt of ours...

hahaha...

anyway i really hoped everyone enjoyed the little gifts...
there were much effort especially from him...
remember to thank him~!

 

and sorrie about the dinner...
i will treat u all one day i promise~!...