but some recent events have trigger thoughts pertaining to the subject again...
and come on...
its not even Christmas yet...
haha...
did some Christmas shopping...
not for myself...
but for decorations...
and i realised...
there is an alarming amount of black themed items on sale...
a black Christmas?...
u mean some people do dig this...
apart from all those cheap flicks?...
as a child...
i like Christmas quite alot...
definitely not because of Santa...
since i was pretty young when i managed to connect the links between Christmas presents...
and shopping trips my mom bring me along for...
not that i was a smart boy mind u...
i began suspecting something is wrong...
when Santa keep getting my present wrong...
when i ask for a Robotech figurine...
somehow instead of giving me the robot the lead character operate...
i ended up with one of those he destroys in mass over a few seconds of screen time...
same thing happened to GI Joes...
Transformers...
always the cartoon i like...
but the characters i don't...
it kind of begins to feel like a prank played on me year after year...
after realising that Santa cannot be that mean...
some how i am not willing to accept Santa as a mean person...
but can readily come to terms with Santa being fictional...
and then i managed to link the dots...
these mistakes all have a certain pattern...
they are all...
mistakes made by parents...
some how parents always managed to know what we like...
but not which we like...
nevertheless my parents made Christmas special...
and later we managed to discuss and decide on simply letting me choose the present i want...
which works for the better...
anyway...
i like Christmas...
maybe because i like snow...
and the cold...
the cold i used to be able to experience...
but somehow...
i never had a proper Christmas...
no trees...
no log cakes...
and this is perhaps something close...
the only bad part is the incredible amount of food that was left over...
haha...
first time i can have turkey pieces to chew just for ease the itch in my mouth...
which reminds me...
i only realised that i would be away soon...
haiz...
some how just feel i am not ready...
still so much to be done...
haiz...
maybe it will be a black Christmas after all...
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