and going delusional, paranoia and freakishly crazy is one of them...
usually there is little that can go wrong with a horror film about space...
u have the perfect settings for a scary experience...
stuck in a location with no way of getting out...
checked...
lack of lighting...
checked...
isolation...
checked...
easy excuses for introducing extraterrestrial/ paranormal creatures...
checked...
large amount of ducts and vents to crawl through...
checked...
and Pandorum did a wonderful job...
of screwing all these nice setting up to give u an experience that is perhaps entertaining...
but leave u asking alot of questions...
one of which may be why u even bothered...
the story of Pandorum starts when an engineer crew on board a starship bounded for a long voyage to a distant planet was awoken...
due to the immediate effects of hypersleep...
he lost most of his memories...
and yada yada yada...
he is forced to navigate through the scary ship to get to the reactor so that he can restart it before the system shuts down...
Pandorum actually refers to a condition where a space traveller lost his mind due to the accumulation of many things and decides to do something scarily stupid...
the reason why i was so brief with the synopsis is because the movie is a compilation of snippets at best...
immediately after the movie...
i have two theories...
one is that the producers read two different scripts about space...
likes them both but only have money to make one movie...
so they decided to patch them into one...
the other more likely explanation...
is that they simply do not have a good central story...
what they have is a bunch of cool ideas...
and they are on a mission to piece them all together whether they fits...
the shameful thing is if Pandorum is a game...
it would probably be a very good one...
you have a character who remembers little from the beginning...
little memories to give u more details of events...
freakish aliens/humans hunting u...
a major quest to the reactor...
a kind boss that gives u back weapons u have lost and could have easily recover all ur HP and MP before it starts a fight with u...
strange characters to meet...
freakish guy who despite being only a few months ahead of u can tell u the whole chain of events from the beginning to the end just like in a game...
they even have a stealth mission towards the end...
it would work for a game because gamers do not as that many questions generally...
and because a game can last u for more than the typical 2 hours of a movie...
the Pandorum experience is a weird, non-cohesive mix of too many elements...
and they do not even bother to fit them nicely or give proper background to each characters or events...
if u can just sit back not think and take whatever it throws at u like u are completing missions of a game...
then probably u will enjoy it...
otherwise this is going to suck really badly for u...
at the beginning of the movie...
i was holding my breath in anticipating that this would blow my mind away like the delightful Event Horizon...
it did not even come close...
this movie is a 1.5/5...
and it could have easily been just 1...
here are interesting stuff about the film...
and believe me...
i check through the internet...
and i am not the only one who found so many nonsense...
but be warned...
SPOILERS ahead (if u would bother watching this movie)...
click to see the rest of the post...
1) they may have evolved from us... but evolution made a sick joke on them... they make them stronger, faster but yet stupider... and i thought as part of the evolution we are not as strong as cavemen but smarter... kind of sounds like a step back for me... plus... it is easier to set up a trap then to learn how to open doors...
2) u lost the only bridge to the reactor... but after u reset it... u can mysteriously go unscratched through energy fields that only minutes early killed some of the freakish creatures...
3) in an advance spacecraft... u take damn long to go from one side to the other... but only need to run for a few minutes to head back the other way... remember... he did say "what are u doing at the other side of the ship..."
4) we are going to evolve into creatures with acute sense of smell... but when we sleep we like to put aside some of our skins like they are clothes and placed them somewhere so that someone can use them a cloaks and sneak pass us... the strong sense of smell will replace other sense like being stepped on...
5) in future... due to some anti-discrimination policies... even on board an English speaking crew only ship... u will have to hire some foreign workers in agriculture that speak no words of English...
6) when u does not speak the language... u will mysteriously understand things u previously do not when a new female character is introduced...
7) when u are weak and clueless about everything... it is wise to leave behind the robust person who save u from aliens to venture on a quest just simply because he does not speak English...
8) this is not from me actually... but is pretty funny... aware that memory lost is an immediate effect of hypersleep... crews are advice to only stick a photo of their love ones at their chamber and not a note to remind them of things they would probably forget...
9) this is also not from me... but when earth is depleted of its resources and u go on a mission to a distant planet to save mankind... ur girlfriend is going to screw u by screwing herself by staying behind... come on... she loves u... but not enough to have a future with u...
10) when earth is running dry on resources... it still has the ability to pump enough fuel and energy into a spaceship so it can sustain function for 900+ years...
or wait... u mean u developed a self sustaining system for the spacecraft but decided to screw urself and not implement it on earth... brilliant...
11) in the last moments before earth is taken off the map of the universe... the kind-hearted people in the space program will forego anything else so that they can race against time to record a final message to keep people in the spacecraft in the loop of things... "we are going to die in seconds... we have to record a message... we must do this... its only fair they know..."
12) u may not know the person or recall his face... but when u see his wife's initials u will recall everything...
13) in future... vessels no longer need to have much safety features anymore... to launch 5000 people to oblivion from their pods... u just need to insert a key and press a switch... to reset a reactor... u just need a scan and push in some cylinders... sealed doors can be easily opened by hand at some sections so that if u accidentally locked urself in u can easily get out... come on... with these features... u dun even need pandorum... u just need a couple of bored drunk guys and everyone can die...
14) to enhance security... they have strategically placed large wenches in sleeping quarters just in case u ever needs it...
15) when a guy developes Pandorum... he is unstoppable...
16) crikets are the ultimate energy bar... but remember to only take one per day...
17) as the leader of a clan... it is only dignified to offer ur armless opponent a weapon before a fight... and it is unfair to use ur superhuman strength so u can only rely on ur bites... plus... while casting the ability bite... it loses any ability to react to anything... like someone stab u in the back... n u can only continue biting... dodging is impossible...
18) in future... technologies goes through a major shift towards daily grooming applications... u develop laser razors... but have to use normal knives... because what is safe for the face is not safe for cutting...
19) ur more experience survivor tells u stupid things to sabotage u... he claims that ur pulse gun is useless and ask u to run... but hey... i shot a few of those things down later in the movie didn't i?... no wonder u died...
20) evolved humans are just like us... they cannot function well when just awoken from their sleep... how else to explain their apparent slowing down towards the end of the movie... or maybe they are just tired...
21) evolved humans are bad parents like us... just leave u kid around so some weird non-English speaking guy can scare it...
22) retina scan will soon go out of fashion... it will be replaced by scanning tattoos with unencrypted words on the forearm for identification... plus to make everyone easily recognisable... the tattoo is written in simple form... for some reason... u cannot spell out agriculture... but u can have a long chain of 0 before ur shift number... u mean there are 5 digit number of shifts in each department... on board a 60000 crew vessel?... wonder what is the classfication for family members? FAM? MIS?...
that's about as much as i can remember...
why did i even bother...
let me know if u have other stupid points...
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