Entry 40: Time...

return after something struck my mind...

i kind of realise that what i am struggling to adapt to at this new chapter of my life...
the thing that is different...
drastically different...
is TIME...

for a long while now...
even when i was schooling...
i have a lot of time on my hands...

time in abundance...

and right now...
it is lost...

and i am lost...

i need to learn to manage my time...
i cannot no longer live life like i used to...

i may not have the resources to do whatever i wanted to...
but i definitely have the time to do what i can...

but now...
i do not have the time to do whatever i want to...
even if i have the resources to...

and to think i am so poor at time management...

what is worse is that i took the time i had for granted...
i keep pushing back things i wanted to do assuming that i will have time for them...

what do i do with all the books and videos now?...

one thing i really, really missed...
the knowing that no matter how much i have on my plate...
there would be an eventual end to them all...
where i can take my deserve break and rest...

like the holidays during school days...
u know u just need to pull through...

now...
there is no more end in sight...
what do i pull through all these for?...