there is something i hate about packing...
besides the physical labor of moving dusty items around...
the relocation of object position to an unfamiliar territories...
the mental strain on redesigning the limited space to put everything...
the snap judgement on whether something should be thrown or not...
there is something that bugs me even worse than all these...
that is...
the discovery...
there are thing out there...
somewhere...
that is even more shameful than old porn that u are now embarrassed to even realised u craved such old fashion imageries...
something more disturbing than that recurring photos of someone at different location and time that make u finally understand that u were really no more than a disgusting stalker...
something even worse...
the creative work u have written which sat at the corner of the drawer...
gathering dust and experiencing the slow dreadful impeding decay to its doom...
the aspirations of years past...
now served as a reminder on how u have let urself drift along with life...
a mortal sin u once dare not even contemplate in ur mind...
now a vivid reality that question the wisdom of ur youth...
how once u have made the promise to urself never to fall into the same trap of ordinary man...
yet have so far walked the path so many have paced themselves..
maybe even a little worse...
how have u let urself fallen to such low...
the age of time...
and permanent disappearance of adolescences make u wonder whether is there anything to be salvage...
what future is there to look forward to...
what future u dare to dream...
have u drifted too far adrift...
strayed too far astray...
it is scary how i suddenly realised the enormous amount of years i have wasted...
then again...
what could i have done...
is the lack of channel a lack of opportunity...
or a rich excuse i offer myself...
will i ever find the answer...
or will i simply give up...
lately...
since i have been sparingly rewriting my blog...
i have been wondering...
perhaps i can do some sort of video reviews...
since i do made myself sit through lots of video viewing sessions...
even for movie as rotten as Cop Out...
if i can just watch 2 movies a week...
2 reviews a week...
hm...
would that be too much to ask...
a sign of maturity...
an observation i have made since i was a boy...
was that when u get older...
u make better decisions...
maybe not be better...
but definitely quicker...
while people would like to comfort themselves and think this is due to wisdom...
the more u age the more wise u are...
lately i have an epiphany on how this is made possible...
it is not that we are wiser...
but growing old simply inform us we have less time left in out lives...
and that alarm clock just woke our inner self up...
and make us choose what is worthy for our time...
just not so long ago...
i would have slaved myself to go through endless hours of mundane gameplay just to complete a game...
now...
i would simply delete it if i feel it is not worth my time...
did i get wiser?...
hardly...
i just became more inpatient...
and at this rate...
can u blame old people for being grumpy...
any little things is simply wasting their precious life away...
keep that in mind before u judge old people again...
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